I promise you that I’m not as full of cynicism and hatred for humanity as this blog title would have you believe. Admittedly, I chose this title for my love of assonance, alliteration, irony, and my constant need to be perceived as witty. And, yes, it may seem a little strange that someone with an admiration for the English language would so carelessly ignore parallel structure. Nobody’s perfect (except Christ). My name is Matt(hew) Long and if you ask me what my last name is I’ll likely respond with “it’s a little long, are you sure you’d like to know?” Unfortunately, that question says more about me than this blog post probably will, and it’s really all you need to know when it comes to that age-old question “who’s the guy sitting alone in the back of the class?”
Well first of all, I’m only sitting where I am today because I woke up late, didn’t have time to shower, and didn’t want to cause a scene trying to find a seat a little closer to civilization. But anyway, I’m really grateful to have a seat in this class. I wasn’t able to register for fall semester back in April due to a hold(s?) on my account so I’m honestly lucky to have a spot here in Comm 2302. I actually heard about this class from a professor I did research with last summer, Dr. Bill Christ. You may remember him from my first paragraph. So, by the grace of Dr. Christ, our lovely professor, and my waking up late last Friday, I sit behind you all, ready to learn. Honestly though, the first day of class really engaged me, and I was super excited to hear that we get to analyze film (and fulfill a pathways requirement)! I literally watch movie analysis videos on YouTube on a daily basis. Yesterday I watched a really interesting one about
So this whole blog post is out-of-order and I meant to put this section before the previousone. Let’s just pretend that this was intentional. As I was saying before, I really like English. Mr. Trigilio, called “Mr. T” by his students, was the first teacher that really got me interested in the whole school thing. The love of English and literary works that I developed in his class is something that I carried with me into my later high school years, and it soon became a general interest in the application of analysis to various media. This is the reason I would gladly scrutinize all 94 minutes of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 with as much care and concern as a reading from an upper division English course. You may argue that the very existence of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 is the result of an easy cash grab and great excuse for Adam Sandler and his buddies to vacation to a super nice hotel in Las Vegas , and perhaps you’re right (you are most certainly right). But who are you to say that Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 doesn’t pose both an insightful portrayal of the multiverse theory, and a well-structured critique of the patriarchy (you’re probably someone who values your time)?
The two things about me that you should know right thus far are this: I have an unhealthy fixation with awful movies that Adam Sandler could care less about, and that I’m glad to be in this class. The second point may not have been made as clear, but that’s alright. It’s really just the first one that should concern you. In addition to “reading into” things, I really enjoy music. I’ve played the bass for about five years now and just last year I got really good at pretending to be good at the guitar. Sadly, the latter has gotten me a lot farther in life. I enjoy playing music with my “friend” Ryan, and the two of us have tried recording stuff together. Last week, however, someone broke into my car (I left it unlocked) and stole the recording equipment which Ryan had actually paid for. Currently, if I don’t come up with the money to reimburse him, he is going to pawn my bass, which he quickly took possession of after I informed him of my being robbed. In addition to playing music poorly, I also enjoy listening to bad music and my favorite band is Blink-182. For some high school class I had, I gave that as my “interesting fact” that no one knew about me. Now you know. Also despite the fact that “English” is probably the most used word in this post, I’m actually hoping to major in anthropology.
Just like Pulp Fiction, we’re ending with the beginning. I never knew what the word “misanthropic” meant until I heard this punk song by Days N Daze about being apathetic and disillusioned with life. You gotta appreciate the angst. What’s a little strange is that I don’t really strike myself as the kind of person that would readily identify with messages about loathing humanity, such as the ones found in this song. I’m sure I can empathize well with the narcissism that this kind of music usually entails (see the phrase “I don’t really strike myself…” in the previous sentence, and probably a rather good portion of this post), but I certainly don’t hate any group of people with a burning passion. And after all, it would seem a bit strange for an anthropologist to be disgusted by the very subject matter of his field. Like Donald Trump, I’d like to believe people from all walks of life like me. And unlike Donald Trump, I try to make a concerted effort to reciprocate this. I (and many quotes out there) believe that everyone you meet has something new to teach you. That being said I probably won’t read anyone else’s post. At least not now. I’m just really tired.
TL;DR: I like Blink-182 and the movie Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, and I think people are cool and their creations are worth studying